10 Men's Grooming Trends That Women Hate

Avoid these - unless you want to be single again (if you are not already).

From a female’s perspective, male grooming tends to come in wild extremes. There’s the guy who uses a dried-out bar of soap on his face every few days (or at least on special occasions, anyway). And then there’s the guy who forces you to keep a padlock on your bathroom cabinet to stop him pinching your expensive moisturizer ("Yes, it really is $115 for that pot and oh my god you have a $30-worth dollop in your hands right now").

We can't decide which one is more annoying, but what we do know is that the preener is on the rise. Men are spending more time and money on grooming than ever before, with the industry set to hit $60.7bn (£44.8bn) by 2020, according to Euromonitor.

Groom too much and we get bathroom angst. Groom too little and we complain that you smell like a post-match changing room. To avoid getting up your other half's nose (in every sense), these are the grooming habits that irk women the most and how to fix them, pronto.

 

1. The Reality TV Tan

We've all been a failed faker at some point - so trust us, we can spot the signs. Reaching for the bottle isn't the problem here (according to tanning brand Fake Bake, half of all men do), but verging into satsuma territory and leaving tidemarks on your tees (and our bedsheets) is where we draw the line.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“The best fake tan looks real,” says Jules Von Hep, global tanning director for Tan Luxe. “Self-tan should not make you look like David Dickinson. Nor should it be detectable."

Orange palms aside (come on guys, use a mitt), one of the biggest giveaways is stubble stainage. "At-home tans are thicker and therefore stick to hair," says celebrity spray tanner James Harknet, who counts David Gandy as one of his clients. "To avoid this, put a small amount of Vaseline on the hair before applying the tan, then brush away any residue with a beard brush after."

2. Preening Below The Belt

So prevalent is manscaping right now that there are even names for different styles of 'tidying' down there (tip: don't Google 'Boyzillian'). According to men's grooming brand Men-ü, around 40 per cent of under 35s regularly shave/trim their sensitive areas, but joining the zero-to-barely-there pube club could be more of a turn-off than a turn-on.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“The manscaping arena has advanced way beyond taking a razor into the shower with you,” says Glamour magazine's Gemma Askham. “There are now male-focused waxes, pube oils and levels of trimming beyond the all-off approach."

We fully appreciate the deforestation efforts, we really do, but unless you learn to do so without us having to see wiry stubble regrowth or a yam bag with a rash, leave the freshly waxed nether regions at the door, please.

3. Scent Overload

Sorry to break it to you, but those body spray ads lied to you. It's not possible to gas a woman into following you home from the no.22 bus stop (particularly asthmatic ones). Avoid death by eau de toilette by rationing your spritzing game so your date can breathe.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“Always make sure you’re wearing the fragrance, not the other way around,” says Lewis Peacock from cosmetics giant Coty, which manufactures for the likes of Calvin Klein and Davidoff. “Three or four good sprays is a good marker and should last all day.”

It's also worth adjusting the type of scent you wear to the occasion, too. Heading for dinner? Peacock recommends swapping ouds and other heavy musks for a more subtle floral fragrance, scenting only your clothes or a scarf.

4. Sandpaper Skin

Newsflash: moisturising on Christmas, birthdays and the first day of football season is not enough to keep your skin in check. Nobody likes a bathroom hogger, but daily moisturising with a built-in SPF to fight the damaging effects of UV rays keeps rough-as-velcro faces at bay.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“I’m consistently amazed by how many men use harsh soap on their face and fail to moisturize. Hello dry, red and irritated skin,” says Dr Justine Hextall, a consultant dermatologist at The Harley Medical Group. “Men tend to dislike any sticky residue on their skin, so I often recommend lotions that absorb easily to leave skin smooth, but not greasy.”

Of course, using the wrong moisturiser (i.e. ours) is almost as bad as using none at all. So take time to seek out a face-saving solution that's tailored to your skin type.

5. An Overly Attentive Brow Game

Nothing gives a woman rage like a boy who has a better brow game than her. It’s taken us years to get these arches on point, so we don’t need any extra competition from the 45 per cent of men who regularly take to trimming their eyebrows.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“Sculpt abs, not brows,” says eyebrow guru Nilam Holmes. “An over-plucked, over-pencilled brow really just stops being a man brow." That's not to say they should be left to grow into a dense forest thicket. "If you need to tweak, splitting a monobrow into two separate brows is a good start - but only a small gap no wider than your thumb."

Kicking rogue hairs that extend beyond the natural browline into touch (either by tweezing or getting in the chair from some threading) is also advisable, but stop short of attempting to alter the shape. No, it won't make your eyes 'pop'.

6. Furry Backs

Body hair is as divisive among women as Marmite on toast. Some love a smooth torso, others prefer it furry, but a hairy back is where every girl draws the line.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

Even if you only have a few stray hairs rather than a full shag pile carpet going on back there, choose your weapon (laser, wax, scythe) and get it sorted.

“Back waxing is probably the least painful body part for a guy,” reassures Kim Lawless aka The Wax Queen. “It should keep you super-smooth for a couple of weeks. Some guys use hair dissolving creams, but it’s similar to shaving in that it can grow back stubbly – and quickly. Not a hit with the chicks (swipe left).”

7. Wizard Beards

There’s only one guy with an overgrown beard that women welcome with open arms and that’s Santa Claus. The least favourite facial hair among women according to a MyAesthetics survey, the Gandalf look is one that needs to get the chop.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

"Every beard needs consistent maintenance to keep whiskers in check," says Tom Chapman, founder of suicide awareness group The Lions Barber Collective and ambassador of grooming brand The Bluebeards Revenge.

As well as visiting your barber at least once every six weeks to keep your beard length on-point, Chapman advises regular at-home upkeep. "You don't need to wash a beard too often - maybe once a week - and don't be afraid to condition it too.”

8. Overgrown Nails

There are a handful things that women will always, always secretly check out on a guy: 1) his shoes and 2) his nails. If we bolt in the other direction, check that yours aren’t so overgrown that they could rival Rihanna’s acrylics. Ick.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

“Nobody likes to see a man with grubby or unkempt nails," says podiatrist Margaret Dabbs. “Keep your nails neatly clipped, short and clean, and invest in a good quality crystal nail file to neaten when needed."

And this doesn't just apply to your hands, those hooves need to be kept handsome too. "But be careful not to go too short on toenails, as this can lead to problems like ingrown nails. Always cut or file the nail straight across and soften the edges if you need to,” adds Dabbs.

9. Body Odor

Sweat dripping down a ripped torso in fashion campaigns really gets us going. But skip the morning shower and it'll mix with the bacteria that clings to body hair to create an unholy waft that's a total deal-breaker.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

As well as waving goodbye to that skin-tight, acrylic rollneck, consider wearing a breathable cotton T-shirt under your work shirt (heather grey works best) and keep a spare in your desk drawer along with a fresh pair of socks.

10. Taking Up The Whole Bathroom

We get it; you've discovered the grooming aisle at the supermarket, but you didn't have to bring the entire thing home with you. Do you even know what a toner does? And what could you possibly need three trimmers for? Actually, don't tell us.

10 Mens Grooming Trends That Women Hate

That means only buying products that are right for you (not because they're in a cool bottle) and throwing away anything that isn't (yes, even if it is in a cool bottle).

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